


The Great Pretender

by quietdetective



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Analysis, Crowley Was Raphael Before He Fell (Good Omens), M/M, aziraphale was made to be Raphael’s partner, honestly I don’t even know how to describe this fic, non-linear timeline, pov switching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-05-18 16:44:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19338502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietdetective/pseuds/quietdetective
Summary: God smiled at Her newest creation, a healer She named Raphael. He had beautiful red hair and dark skin. There wasn’t a need for one just yet, but he would have an important job soon enough.When he began questioning his own purpose, God knew She had to do something for Her healer, so She made him a partner, Aziraphael.





	1. Chapter 1

Aziraphale. Aziraphael. His angel. 

 

“Mother. What did they do wrong?”

 

Burning. Aching. Dizziness. A rough hand that wasn’t there long. It would be his last touch for a while. 

 

“My Raphael, my healer.” 

 

Bright light that would burn most mortals away but was normal for the angels. They all loved one another for they didn’t know hate yet. It was Her Morningstar that figured it out first, for he was often the most clever of them all. 

 

“Mother what are you doing?” 

 

He was favoured along side the other archangels, but no one knew his purpose. Raphael was a healer in a world with no hurt, no illness. He was a guardian with no one to guard. Raphael asked questions that weren’t to be spoken to anyone but Her. 

 

“My darling Raphael, I will need you on earth. They require your touch more than Heaven, more than Hell even. Your purpose will be to heal those who need it, at your own will.” 

 

 

Raphael’s questions were often hushed by the other angels, especially his closest siblings, Gabriel, Michael, and Uriel. Lucifer however, he encouraged his questions. The others warned him that his curiosity would damn him, for they questioned Her and Her great plans for Her creations. He didn’t understand. 

 

“Mother, why must you test them to this point?” 

 

Raphael loved his garden, cultivating the Garden of Eden to full bloom for his darling Mother. He spoke gently to the plants and encouraged them to be their best. He didn’t notice an angel, one of the Principalities, watching him with doe-like eyes. Raphael tended to his garden for now, as there was no hurt to heal just yet. 

 

“Please. Please stop them. They’re so cruel to one another, they haven’t got an ounce of love within their bones. Please I beg of you to stop them.”

 

They were introduced on a beautiful day, for there were no other days in Heaven. A tall, lean angel with dark skin and beautiful red hair looked upon a shorter angel, who had slightly lighter skin and shockingly white hair. 

 

“My Raphael, meet Aziraphael, he will be your guard, your partner, as you wait for your purpose to begin.”

 

It was the same angel who watched Raphael tend to his garden, Aziraphael was still enraptured by the other’s beauty. Many claimed that Lucifer, the Morningstar, was the most beautiful of them all. Aziraphael found that he couldn’t disagree more. 

 

“She knows what’s best Raphael, don’t question Her. Our Mother loves Her creations, why would She test them to the point of destruction?” 

 

Gentle kisses, copying what they saw a pair of lover’s do. It was nice. Lovely in fact. Raphael wanted to do it again and again, but he didn’t want to force himself on poor Aziraphael. He was already so skittish, Raphael couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Aziraphael wished he was never chosen to accompany him. 

 

“Mother, Lucifer is planning something. Something big. Please tell me this is part of the plan. Please don’t abandon me.” 

 

Aziraphael was falling more and more each day. Raphael’s beauty, his grace, his kindness, they made the angel fall more in love with every minute they were together. When Raphael allowed them to kiss one another, Aziraphael felt as if he were on fire. He wondered if that’s what it felt like to Fall. 

 

“They won’t remember my dear. My sweet Raphael. Don’t fret, it won’t be permanent. Not for you. You are too alike to my other creations to fit in with them. Demons, they will call themselves. “

 

Raphael kissed Aziraphael and told a lie. He promised to be back shortly, we told his love that he had to check on Eve in the Garden, for it was his creation he was responsible. His Principality, his dear Aziraphael, won’t remember anything after this kiss. Now, he slithered into Eden. 

 

“I love you.”

 

Burning. Aching. Dizziness. A rough hand that wasn’t there long. It would be the last touch for a while. He couldn’t go by Raphael, for there was soon an announcement that Raphael was gone, no one could sense him on Heaven or Earth. Some were brave enough to ask Hell, namely Gabriel and Michael, but their answer was the same. Raphael was lost, and in his place was a serpent named Crawley. 

 

“Well that went down like a lead balloon.”

 

Crowley walked the earth with purpose, something that was hard for Raphael. Raphael had no purpose in Eden, for his purpose was always on Earth. On earth there was pestilence and death and war and famine. Soon pestilence would retire and pollution will take their place. The humans had to know of the horrors between right and wrong, good and bad, before they were gifted with one who could fix them once they battled the Horsepeople. 

 

“Do you know if you ever met Raphael, Crowley? Every so often everyone upstairs descend upon Earth for they think they feel him walking once more. I can’t say I do, I don’t think I ever met him though, my dear.” 

 

 

Crowley enjoyed his work. He enjoyed the mischief being a demon allowed him to create. It was, for the most part, harmless. It just made people’s day just a little bit worse than it would’ve been. The other demons wanted more, however. Greedy little buggers they were, they wanted Crowley to corrupt far more people. They were catching on. 

 

“I wanted you to stop them yes, but to kill them all? Even the children? Please Mother, allow me to save them. Let me keep them safe.” 

 

Crowley watched Aziraphale, a lovestruck expression on his face. He still loved him, his angel, though the other has long since forgotten. Crowley minds, he can’t say he doesn’t, but as long as they are side by side, he doesn’t mind as much. 

 

“You go too fast for me Crowley.” 

 

Gentle kisses were Aziraphale’s favourite, the ones where Crowley would gently hold his cheeks like he was the most precious thing in the world. He wasn’t sure why the feeling was so familiar, why it felt like it should’ve always been like this. 

 

“Michael is getting antsy lately my dear, she seems to be waiting for something. Best keep our new arrangement on the down low. Perhaps we could rent that cottage down in South Downs?”

 

He felt the pull, the pull he hadn’t felt in years. Crowley was in charge of himself, allowed to go where he needed, where the hurt and illness ran rampant. God let him do as he needed for the most part, but now he was being called home. Is it bad that he feels that earth is more his home than Heaven?

 

“Aziraphael, I have something I have to tell you.”

 

Crowley was terrified. He was out in his garden, whispering to his plants like he hasn’t done in years. Yelling worked a lot better, he found. It was like spoiled children in a sense, they get lazy and passive if given love freely. Maybe the same could be said for angels. 

 

“What is it dear?”

 

Crowley gave him a kiss like that day so long ago, holding his dear angel tightly. He knew when Aziraphale remembered, for he was pushed away to look at his lover’s clear blue eyes, eyes which hadn’t realized the world was rose coloured till the glasses were removed. Both their eyes were full of tears, as Aziraphael has figured out why his heart felt so empty for so long. He was with his darling angel, but not truly. 

 

“Raphael?”

 

He hasn’t felt like Raphael for such a long time. He wasn’t sure if he truly was anymore. Crowley had been Crowley for so long, even with his appearances as Raphael. Raphael was a secret that was meant to be kept hidden. Now it was out in the open, for God called upon her Healer. 

 

“It won’t be long before the other archangels come to get me, angel. I love you.” 

 

They were descended upon and soon Aziraphael was taken alone with his love back up to Heaven, questioning if it was truly worth it all in the end. They were a pair, made for one another.

 

“My healer, Raphael. You’ve done so well.” 


	2. Love of My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the pursuit of something greater, God made up Her mind. 
> 
> In the pursuit of something he didn't want, Crowley listened to his Mother.
> 
> Not in pursuit, but of fear, Aziraphale didn't let his thoughts be spoken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reupload! I hated the old chapter so much I deleted it! There's a lot that is still the same but I also wrote a lot of new shit and revised it, so please read!

There were many iterations of the events that happened that are tossed around. Everyone remembers things differently, if they wish to or not. These iterations tend to tilt in the favour of those who are telling the tale, as everyone wants to be the hero in their story. The Fall was much like that.

 

There were angels in Heaven who had just watched in horror as their siblings, friends, lovers, fell down, down, down into the unknown. There was one falling for everyone that still stood.

 

At least, that was what everyone agreed to. It would be unfair otherwise, as angels and demons forget that sometimes things aren’t fair in the eyes of God. She needed a certain angel down there to heal those who were hurt in the trials of the humans, and that angel also needed to fall for this to work. An angel had to fall, while not really falling. While many of the angels believed the crime of questions to be the reason for this angel to fall, God had to look away in shame.

 

Raphael followed Lucifer down, down, down, into a dark, dank place where no one wanted to be. Lucifer grinned at his brother and held out a hand to the shaken angel. Once Raphael gripped his hand however, he had nothing to grip it with. His body was long and slime, covered in the beautiful scales of the creature of his own creation.

 

“Go cause some trouble, little brother.”

 

It was Her Great Plan, they had whispered to each other. Lucifer was getting too powerful, others were worshipping him, another had added, that’s why the others followed their Morningstar down. It was Her command, the general consensus was, for everyone had forgotten that God made everyone, everything, with free will. Angels were good, demons were bad, and everyone patted themselves on the back for remembering that.

 

There was a lot of talk about the supposed Great Plan. Many believed that it led up to a ginormous battle between Heaven and Hell, where angels and demons would fight with no concern for the creatures that would be harmed in the battlefield. Some might even dream of the glory they would receive for killing the most demons or angels.

 

No one was to know that in actuality, God’s Great Plan was more of a Mediocre Outline. She really didn’t want anyone to know that though, it was embarrassing, so she let her creations continue thinking she knew what she was doing all along. A Serpent had gotten into Eden? Oh bugger, that was unfortunate. That couldn’t possibly be part of the Great Plan, could it? Well She needed the humans out of Eden, as sad as She was for it. Raphael had done so well on the garden, but they needed the knowledge to have true free will, though they had enough to choose to eat rather than stay.

 

God loved Her creations, She always said She did. She needed Her healer on Earth, for the humans would need him. She reassured Herself that it was fine, he fell along side his brother with a promise it wouldn’t be permanent. It was a mercy for someone that Raphael could have his lover forget their time together.

 

“The demon Crowley? But you’re- you look- what?”

 

It was a mirror of Crowley’s first day in hell, everyone’s first day in hell. He stood uncomfortably in front of his siblings, as Crowley was never the most comfortable in situations he had no control over. It was a bit of a by-product of being a healer and part just Crowley being awkward. He was in front of his siblings. Michael, Gabriel, and Uriel, who all stood with their mouths agape, a crowd of angels standing right behind them. The only difference between them and Lucifer was that he wasn’t offered a hand since he was already standing.

 

The angels saw before them Crowley, the Adversary, the Originator of Sin, the Serpent of Eden if you will, yet they also saw Raphael. The healer. Dear sweet Raphael, who would never harm another and spoke up whenever he could with his questions and ideas, who tended to his garden with gentle hands and soft words. Raphael who no one had seen in thousands of years. Who let their healer fall?

 

“The Archangel, the Healer of Heaven, Raphael has been found!”

 

Aziraphale stood by his side for all of it, when the angels surrounded them with their greetings and blessings being thrown around willy nilly. Crowley still found himself flinching at the words, the years upon years of conditioning to do so not leaving so quickly. There was so much that needed to be explained, so many years to talk about the meaning of. The Principality gripped the other, formally fallen angel’s hand tightly, to show he wasn’t alone. He was never alone. They would stay together as they had for years prior, their own side against everyone else’s.

 

“Please, please let him be okay, please Mother.”

 

After a while the archangels had managed to corral the two semi rogue angels away to an abandoned office space. Michael, Uriel, and Gabriel were more interested in just Raphael in all honesty, but they weren’t really in the mood to try and break up the two before them. They gazed at their little brother with eyes that spoke of heartbreak, loss, resignation in the face of something far greater. There were tears rolling down their faces.

 

“You loved the stars more than anything else. You could be persuaded back with your garden, but nothing could keep you on the ground long when there was a galaxy in your eyes.”

 

“You asked so many questions it scared us, we didn’t want you to be among the lost.”

 

“Please, can you tell us how you are back after so many years?”

 

“Were you really among the stars as Mother claimed? Or were you on Earth, among the demonic forces?”

 

Racing cars, a fire so vast and hot there couldn’t, shouldn’t, be any survivors. A quick miracle was performed, for no one was really keeping track anymore at the end of the world. Crowley rushed forward, into the bookshop for he couldn’t, wouldn’t, lose his partner.

 

When Crowley rushed into the bookshop he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. He was hoping for it not to be on fire for one, for another the owner of the bookshop to be safe and sound away from the fire. Aziraphale’s presence was so faint it might as well have not been there. A cruel trick on God’s part, Crowley thought, making it so he was too late to save the one dearest to him.

 

The world was ending. The anti-christ was among them, Aziraphale was gone. Crowley had lost.

 

“Bastards! All of you!”

 

Crowley didn’t concern himself with trying to keep a line between Crowley and Raphael, since they were one and the same anyway. If he were doing demonic activity that was Crowley, angelic that was Raphael. He forgot that with this arrangement within himself, the two would blend and mix together, which might not have been in any plan. Crowley was kinder than he should be as a demon, soft and reluctant to do anything that could actually harm the humans rather than just cause inconvenience. Raphael was snarkier than he used to be, more willing to shout at his plants and had an affinity for snakes after becoming one.

 

Crowley went where he was sent by Hell, influencing and tempting. He was quite good at it, when he tried to be. It was always a lot more fun to give humans the choice between good and evil, right and wrong, since you were always surprised by the outcome. It wasn’t malicious, it wasn’t him pushing them in one way. They chose what they chose, and they had to deal with the consequences. Though, gluing money to the sidewalk and getting about seventeen degrees to successfully cause minor inconvenience was also great fun.

 

Raphael went where he felt he should, appearing before those who needed it the most. An angel of healing, finally able to exercise his abilities, but sometimes it wasn’t enough. Sometimes people didn’t need to be healed or didn’t want to be healed. They were content with just knowing that angels were there watching them. Raphael didn’t know how true that statement was, as he only ever saw one angel on Earth, none of his other heavenly brothers or sisters. How sure was God in the idea that it was humans who needed testing, not Her own angels?

 

“My dear, please. I know you think you are being very clever, but they know you can turn into a snake. I don’t mind you on me, but it won’t keep you very well hidden. I don’t think even Sandalphon would believe an 8-foot python just appeared in heaven.”

 

Love was a fickle thing. You could fall in love with someone because that’s what you felt you should do, you could refuse to fall in love with someone because you thought you should. Feelings and thoughts could be so messy when it came to love.

Aziraphale remembered being made. He remembered God’s smile as She gazed down at him, letting him wander off to the other, older, angels to whom he’d receive a rank from. Names weren’t so important yet, as many angels were still viewed as equal. When She began to name them, he was left towards the end since he was made later. He did his duties and found friends among the other angels, and when he received his name it was amazing.

 

God called upon him, and he went to Her. She sat in a beautiful Garden, the same one he saw an equally breathtaking angel just a few weeks ago. She hadn’t said a word to him, yet he was aware he was now to be called Aziraphael. Newly named, they sat for a bit to let him enjoy.

 

Aziraphale had been introduced to Crowley with the intention that they would be partners. God led Aziraphale through the Garden of Eden with practiced ease, smiling all the way. Or just glowing brighter. He was introduced to a beautiful angel with dark skin and scarlet hair, and he fell in love instantly.

 

At least, that’s what he thought.

 

“Crowley!”

 

Aziraphale wasn’t sure why he was so drawn to the demon, his adversary. It just didn’t make sense. He should be repulsed, horrified, disgusted with these feelings he had. But he wasn’t. He found himself wanting to nurture and care for the feelings like they were a garden within his chest. Like they were worthy of being kept safe and loved, like they weren’t feelings towards a fallen angel made to be his opposition. It never felt like that. Aziraphale only ever felt full in Crowley’s company, his presence soothing the ache he never noticed till it was gone. It didn’t help that Crowley was kinder than he ought to be, wanting to save children and not understanding God’s tests on humanity. Saving an angel and doing his best to keep them both out of trouble.

 

It didn’t make sense. Aziraphale refused to believe it was love, despite the evidence. Love was something else, not meant for him. Love was something that grew organically, through shared experiences while remaining two different parts. Perhaps you found yourself in a wavelength that kept meeting the other person, through shared smiles and secret winks. Sometimes love doesn’t look like you think it should, but it’s there.

 

“Just, why all the tests? There’s really no need for them, I think at least. There’ll always be humans who have doubts and honestly, good on them! There’s no real reason to believe there’s anything or anyone out there that gives a damn! She’s never proven to them that She’s there in the first place. They just face Her wrath when She thinks they’ve gone too far.”

 

Michael barely let Raphael out of her sights, still feeling overwhelmed by the fact that her brother was right there, after so long of no one knowing where he was. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, forgive herself for what happened in hell. She nearly killed her little brother with not a care in the world, since he was a demon and deserved it in her eyes. Michael was unsure of how Gabriel was dealing with it as well, since he had corresponded with Aziraphael, Raphael’s partner, in the years that passed with little kindness.

 

“Raphael? Where were you?”

 

There were always angels around, of any rank. It felt like they thought Crowley would disappear if they were given a moment of alone time. Aziraphale looked over at his lover, tightening his grip on the other’s hand. It felt like they hadn’t let go since returning to Heaven. Crowley was stil; the same, yet different. His eyes were still golden, but no longer resembled a snake, his hair was lighter and made longer and returned to the soft curls it had in the Garden. He was still breathtaking. He was just as Aziraphale remembered him in the Garden, his Raphael returning. But what about his Crowley?

 

“Oh, you mustn’t say such things Crowley! I know you’ve fallen but there’s no need for that language. There has to be a reason for our Lord’s actions. A deeper meaning, an ineffable plan! If there isn’t, then what the point?”

 

Shared looks. Gentle brushes of lips. Hands that were holding tightly to each other. It wasn’t an uncommon position for the two who had returned from earth after centuries there. To an outsider, to someone who didn’t know better, they would look content. In actuality the two weren’t sure where to put their limbs, their wings, anything. They had trouble remembering what was proper for an angel and what was proper for humans, if there were actual differences or if they had made them all up.

 

They received no minutes of peace, for they were enchanting.

 

“Exactly, angel.”

 

There were many questions that were asked by the archangels, and Crowley felt fully interrogated by the end of it. He found himself slipping into his lisp and hissing, something which frightened his siblings. Crowley wasn’t sure what he was anymore. If he was still a demon, or if what God promised him was true. God told him that it wouldn’t be permanent, so that implied he was a demon for those years upon years on earth. Was he now an angel again? He couldn’t see his own eyes and honestly, it wouldn’t be the smartest thing to ask the others since he wasn’t sure if that was a good indicator in the first place.

 

No one told him he was just as he was, before the Beginning. His golden eyes and dark skin, his pale wings which reflected light. The love he felt for everything was still there, even other angels could feel it coming off him in waves. It was strongest around Aziraphale.

 

“Mother what is this? Why am I back? I know you said it wasn’t permanent but, I had hoped for longer. I know I shouldn’t ask more of you, for you letting me back is something I am forever grateful for, but I was made with questions and thirst for answers. You made me like this. Can you please tell me why you bring us back right when we achieved happiness in our current forms?”

 

There was an underlying fear in being back, that Crowley had never felt before. In his early years, when he was still making the stars and breathing life into new things, he was never frightened of asking questions. He knew, despite his sibling’s insistence, that God wouldn’t cast him out for it. Why would She? She made him like this, a curious one with an insatiable urge to know the why of everything. His Mother cared for all Her creatures, right?

 

 “We can’t leave Crowley, there isn’t anywhere to go.”

 

Raphael, Crowley, found himself praying up to his Mother, hoping for a response. There was silence. Tears slipped down his face. Was even She there? Did she listen to them anymore?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone please stop me from writing about love, I am unstoppable now.


End file.
